If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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