I feel like I'm in dance class right now
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Ketchup is God's man juice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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