It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize