bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So vagazzling was a success
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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