I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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