Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
