My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
two words...techno handjob
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
