this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize