Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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