Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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