I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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