It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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