I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
