At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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