He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Couch. On fire.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
