HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i barfeds in our rink
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
