fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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