do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
