I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
