he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
