to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
