Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
