sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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