Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
