And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
