If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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