i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
where are my eyebrows?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
