they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
