i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
