Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
These tits shall not be calmed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
