So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
