I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
