Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
