porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
