I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
