I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
