Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
