do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
