Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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