whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
