If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
