My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
