You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
