Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
