She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize