If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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