i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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