peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize