As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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