I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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