we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do vagina's smell?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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