Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
