Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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