Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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