Its about making memories worth repressing
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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