My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
