We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
