making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
